Mind vs heart – the deadend

It’s typical in our society to feel a conflict between what we want to do (our heart) and what we feel is practical (our mind)  ~ Jonathan Mead

We human beings are often torn between choices that we have to make between what our heart wants and what our mind thinks. The tug-of-war between the desires of mind and heart is something that most people are wary of (atleast I am :-o). The mere thought of choosing between what our mind says and what our heart wants is a herculean task. There often comes a time in our lives when its not easy to reach upon a decision as we have to choose between what are heart aspires (even though it may not be the proper or right approach) and what our mind dictates (which often is the right approach). This results in a state of indecisiveness which causes a lot of tension, often not letting a person to arrive at a decision, let alone arriving at a fruitful decision.

And in my case I have always been a slave of my heart. I have always followed my heart…in almost all the decisions I take. I trust my heart to lead me to the correct path. But this attitude has more than often led me to a lot of hassle. The turmoil that goes through my head when my heart desperately craves for something but then my mind sends me a warning signal to do it otherwise. This is the phase that I hate it the most…when I am hanging in the loose thread of indecisiveness…and the more I strive towards arriving at a logical conclusion the more I drift away from it. It makes me wonder – is my mind really the culprit or is it my heart that is really to be blamed for such a misery.

I think the turmoil between the heart and the mind occurs because we, as social beings, depend a lot on the judgement and acceptance of the society. We tend to pick our actions based on the social conditioning and norms. This sometimes creates a situation where we are torn between choosing a decision which appears to be socially acceptable (read: correct) but then from the very core of our heart a voice tells us….“will it make you happy?” 

Then how do you make the right decision? How do you make your heart and mind both happy and yet take a right decision? Well….I haven’t been able to figure out this problem and often find myself stuck in the quagmire of pleasing my mind and at the same time making my heart happy……tough job I guess 😀

P.S: Its not that I am always at fight with my heart and mind. Sometimes lady luck does wave her magic wand around me and helps me in choosing a decision that pleases both my heart and mind and that is truly a blissful state 😀

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Posted in Experience, Life, Thoughts | 2 Comments

The Joyride!!!

Yesterday while I was on my way to office after lunch-break, I saw our colony school bus arriving with a bus load of noisy and chatty school children. This noisy but happy sight instantly transported me back to my school days when I too was a joyous passenger of my school bus :-). Those were some really fun-filled and care-free days and reminiscing those days brings a smile on my face. So why not share a little memory of my joyride….my school Bus!!

To begin with, our school bus was a big bus, probably a little old and not very comfortable to sit. But at that time who cared about the comforts of bus seats when all that mattered to us were the fun activities and the joy of travelling with our friends!! For me the the actual fun in the school bus starts when I head home after finishing my classes, a time when I would be free from all the tensions of studies, homework, exams, lessons to prepare and other such not-so-interesting things :-P. Its only during our journey back home that all the students inside the school bus turned into their boisterous best!! Be it fighting with other students for grabbing the favourite seat by the window, to tease, scream and waive at innocent passers-by without any rhyme or reason, to scream our lungs out while playing antakshari and to tease the quiet and no-so-naughty students and laugh our hearts out……it was the ultimate fun that we shared on our amazing ride at the school bus and boy, what fun we had while doing all this!!!

There is also a very interesting aspect relating to my school bus ride and it goes like this….. Well, I am a habitual late-comer (a trait which refuses to leave my side till date, my loyal enemy :-P) and hence, I was often late for catching my bus in the morning and sometimes even missed my bus, which would eventually leave me with only one option…..go back home, tell father that I missed my bus, get a sound scolding and pocket money to reach school by city-bus :-P. But I also had a partner in my late-for-school-bus saga….my cousin!! We used to go the bus-stop to catch our school bus together. Many a times when we would miss our school bus, both of us would travel to the intersecting point where we would be able to catch the bus and finally board it!! An on some not very lucky days, when we would be so awfully late that the hope of catching the school bus at the intersecting point is also null, we embark on our journey by the city-bus :-P. Many a times we two were the butt of jokes of other students of the school bus but we could never overcome our late-comer tags…(sigh)

But nevertheless, I enjoyed my bus rides to the hilt. The joy of endless gossips and chattering with friends, the pranks we use to play on each other…..it was awesome!! I feel a sense of nostalgia overcoming me whenever I spot our school’s bus on the road, filled with students, noisy, and bustling energy and fun. I feel an instant urge to hop onto it and mingle with the students, share their fun and tell them with eagerness that I too was once a happy passenger of their school bus 🙂

Posted in Childhood, Friendship, Life, School | 2 Comments

Waiting for a miracle….

It is often said that we humans  are bundles of endless desires and aspirations. Everyone wants to be happy….and well…happiness always correlates to contentment, which eventually means fulfillment of some cherished desires and emotions within ourselves. And in the pursuit of this cherished desires and happiness, we tread through every possible route which we assume will lead us to fulfillment of our intrinsic desires and our happiness. This journey sometimes culminate into a triumph and… sometimes into a loss which becomes unbearable. When the strive to fulfill our desires fail, it is then that we desperately dream that a miracle happen and fulfill our dreams and aspirations. Miracle…it is such a feeling that induces a spirit and zeal so forceful, which makes us hopeful of a “wonderful occurrence”  which otherwise seem so disillusioning.

And like all mortal species of the world, I too hope that some miracles would happen and make my life all the more joyous and wipe away all my worries and pain. Its such a blissful feeling to bask in the sensation that a miracle would happen :-).

There are certain things in my life which I think should have shaped out in a different way….in a way that would please me and make my life little less messy and worrisome (well its not that my life is always messy or troublesome, but then who doesn’t want their life to picture-perfect ;-)) And during those grueling thought processes do I desperately crave that God smiles upon me and shower a miracle upon me…. a miracle that would change my life for better!! But hey wait….just a single miracle is not going to wipe off all the unhappy moments from my life…..I am in need for some good numbers of miracles to happen 😛 and I hope you are listening to all of it God :-P.

So here goes my list for the miracles that desperately need to happen in my life:

  • A miracle that would instantly get me transferred to my hometown from the utterly disgusting and uneventful place where I am posted now owing to my job. 
  • A miracle that would allow me to gather just the right amount of savings so that I can purchase my dream home and gift it to my parents with utmost joy and pride 🙂
  • A miracle that would bring back our beloved dog “Lucky” to our family again and make our family circle complete….I miss you soooo much Lucky 🙂
  • A miracle that would transform my reed-thin figure into a more healthy one…because however hard I try, I seem to fail miserably in this department (though I never compromised on my food habits, just in the hope that someday….maybe someday I wouldn’t be called thin :-() 
  •  And lastly, a miracle that would wipe off some bitter memories and pain embedded in my heart and mind which refuses to leave me inspite of me trying so hard to forget the pain and move on in my life…..

I hope someday good-luck knocks on my door and I open it to find one of my above-listed miracles smiling upon me and waiting to brighten up my life by ringing in happiness that I so fervently wish for…….

 

 

 

Posted in Life, Thoughts | 2 Comments

An ode to my Mother

When I decided to write a post dedicated to the most special woman in my life, I was a little apprehensive about what would I write….how would I embrace the infinite virtues and sacrifices undertaken by my Mother in mere words…. but then there is no better way to show my love and respect to such an astonishing and inspiring mother. So Maa….here it is….a simple tribute to your never-ending love and affection from your ever loving daughter….

Our family is a middle-class family where both my parents had to work so that they could provide a good life, a better education and a secured future for both me and my brother. My Maa is, thus, a working mother who would juggle between her family and her work and yet strike a fine balance between both. She would painstakingly take care care of her family, nurture her two small kids, run a house and dash off to her work with much elan. She is an epitome of endurance, hard-work and endless stamina and gave her everything for her family. Though Maa is always loving and caring to us, yet she is also a strict disciplinarian and would never allow her children to indulge in any kind of bad habits. She inculcated the habit of doing our own works by ourselves, to be self-dependent and to be humble. Both me and my brother were also very afraid of Maa and whenever we did any mischief while she was away, we would try to hide it from her with all our efforts :-P, but Maa, as she is, nothing could ever be hidden from her and our mischief would be revealed in front of her in no time and the result……well, a sound thrashing and an ultimate warning not to repeat it in the future :-P.

My relationship with Maa has evolved through the years. From that little girl who would always be stuck to her Maa and follow her everywhere, I have become this young woman who still loves to follow her Maa everywhere…..I love to wait by Maa’s side when she would be cooking in the kitchen, following her in the house when she would be busy mending the household chores and chattering endlessly about anything and everything with her!! And amidst all this, I would also help her with all her work like a dutiful daughter too :-). Amidst all the laughter and jokes that I share with Maa, we also have a lot of arguments and fights but eventually we always make-up :-). Maa has been the pillar of support in my life and whatever little achievements I have earned in my life is all because of her endless love and support. Her constant persuasion and guidance had helped me to be the person I am today. She is the wind beneath my wings and my mental support. I feel happy, contented and protected whenever Maa is around me. During sickness and pain, its Maa’s soothing and calm nature that wipes away all my sufferings. There can be no better healing hands than yours Maa….

I have always tried to be a dutiful and abiding daughter to you Maa…but I know… sometimes, somewhere I may have faltered at being one…..and for all the heart-breaks and pain I have ever caused to you unknowingly…. I am sorry Maa…..but my tryst for emerging as the best daughter for my Maa is still on….

Thank you Maa…. for all the sacrifices and pain that you have undergone for me, for all the happiness and blessings that you have showered on me…..there can be no greater happiness  in this world than the joy of being your daughter…..

I feel blessed to be your daughter 🙂

Love you Maa…

Posted in Childhood, Experience, Family, Life, Love, Nostalgia | 2 Comments

That sweet thing called Love…..

He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.
Bob Marley

Ahh…those sweet-sounding words “the perfect guy for you”!!! that melts the heart of every girl 🙂

Its true…no one in this world is perfect.  But to find that one special person and to listen to your heart saying that may be he’s the one…is a great feeling!

I have always been a romantic at heart. Since the time I was a small  girl I was enamoured by those fascinating words called “love & romance” :-). Be it romantic books and novels, love stories, romantic movies….all were objects of great fascination for me!! I have always believed that someday I too would experience the subtleness of true love and my prince charming would be there waiting to hold my hands and take me on a journey of togetherness…..

It also gives me immense pleasure to see people in love, being together and basking in the sublime glory of love and romance, believing in each other and understanding each other’s flaws but still work a way out to have that insurmountable faith and love in each others heart. Love is beautiful…..truly 🙂

My faith in true love soars higher when I see most of my friends happy and contented with their chosen loved ones :-). My closest friends as they are….they would often confide in me their feelings, happiness, the fights they have with their partners :-P, their bitter-sweet experiences, sometimes their pain :-(, but nonetheless, I always like listening to them….maybe because it makes me aware that like all other relationships, the relationship of love too has its share of ups and downs. It also fills me with happiness when I see two persons in love taking their relationship to the next higher level through the lovely institution of marriage.

Falling in love is truly a wonderful thing…..but sometimes, as fate may intervene, love also bring heart-breaks, disappointments, disillusionment and loss of trust and belief….but then, is love really the reason behind such pain and aches?? I have seen people failing miserably in fulfilling the promises and responsibilities that come with love. The singlemost important element that keeps love alive is  trust. It is trust or the belief in each other that brings two people together to embark on the journey of love. But when this trust breaks, the delicate thread of love binding two different individuals snaps and the result is bitterness and pain. Love is never to be blamed…..its people, who do not know the true meaning of love, that sometimes put love in the negativity.

But nonetheless, love has always been and will always be a beautiful feeling…..that fills our lives with happiness and contentment….that makes us feel special for who we are and eventually make us fall in love with ourselves too :-).

And as for me….well I would always be the die-hard romantic I was, whether true  love comes my way or not!!!

Three cheers to love and life!!! 🙂

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be – Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Posted in Experience, Life, Love | 6 Comments

Lucky – a beautiful gift!!

“Dogs are a man’s best friend”

These words hold true to me and rightly so because of the most unassuming, adorable and the cutest member of our family – our love and light of our house – our dearest Lucky!! And this post is dedicated to the most lovely dog in the world – Lucky!!

Our family is really blessed to be gifted with such a wonderful and cute dog whom we rightly christened as Lucky! She was a darling of the house – a fawn coloured labrador, whom we adopted when she was barely a month old! With her deep brown eyes and large droopy ears, when she first came to our house, our whole family was enamoured by her sweet lovable nature. I loved the way she used to shiver in my arms when she got an inkling that my mother was preparing her food, which she would gulp down in a few seconds!! Her antics and whims amused us and kept us entertained all the time. I remember the way she used to wait by the doorstep waiting pensively for our family members to return home. We used to joke that she had a secret clock inside her body by which she knew exactly at what time me and my brother would return from our college, my mother would come back from work or my father returned from his daily grocery shopping. She used to wait for us unfailingly everyday and the moment any of the family member is home, she would prance around, licking and jumping with unbound happiness in her eyes. Her efforts were always rewarded with a cookie or two by us which she devoured instantly! She was also an instant hit with all my friends and they always enquired about Lucky and how she’s doing!!

Though Lucky loved us all equally yet she had her one favourite family member and it was my brother (a cause of jealousy for me :-P). Both of them had an amazing understanding of each other’s feeling and my parents and I were amazed at it. Nonetheless, Lucky was always  a source of constant love and happiness for our family and we all loved her like crazy. Her small-small things like waking us up every morning by nudging her wet nose on our face, snuggling beside us with her soft, furry and warm body, demanding us to give her rightful share of whatever we eat, sleeping (read- snoring) on her so-called bed like a cute baby, her laziness in getting out of the bed and have her food during winters and the list goes on….And her adorable nature and her unconditional love for us made us forget all our worries. Truly, she was the light of our house and our bundle of endless joy.

Today Lucky is no more with us. After a brief spell of illness she left us. When my mother broke the news of her demise to me over the phone, i felt the whole world going dark and a feeling of numbness engulfing me. I cried inconsolably unable to imagine our house without our beloved Lucky…and our lives to be so incomplete without her effervescence and charm. During the nine happy and joyful years she spent with us i’m sure she has had no complains! She was our princess and we showered her with all our love and blessings. Even as I write about her now, my eyes are moist (which is always the case whenever i remember her) and my heart heavy with grief.

We love you Lucky  and we miss you every single day of our lives. You were our lucky charm, our bundle of joy and the queen of our hearts!!!

Posted in Family | 3 Comments

Hello!

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Hello world!

I am a member of the blogging world now.

It is said that life is all about learning from your experiences and getting wiser with every experience!

So here i am….sharing my random experiences of life and things i love through this blog 🙂

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